YENIQUE

I swear I know minding your business can be hard, we are curious creatures and we always want to know…information is sweet abiii? The problem I have with nosiness is the assumption and “ajasa” part, I mean it’s fine to be curious but if your information is incomplete don’t fill the empty spaces with made up lies and then spread that nonsense around. Ok so let me tell you a short story…   I just moved from my former apartment and I have stayed in the previous apartment for three years. So I am very single, have been for a while I also stay alone, so my nosy-ass landlady, her kids and battalion grandkids have the most outrageous stories about my life. I am hardly home so I think that gives them the basis to build story upon story about my life. Sometimes she calls me and says stuff like “aunty Funke e maa n fi okunrin shako”(Funke you don’t give men the chance) or “mo la la pe e se oyun, e de ku”(I dreamt you aborted and died) or “boda to gbe motto wa yi oniro niii, e g...

I must be afraid of the dark, I am not but maybe that’s just because I have not been diagnosed by an expert yet. Those psychiatric doctors with long faces and white hairs that reek of experience in knowing our innermost thoughts, I long to sit in front of one. For the fun of it and also so they can put a diagnosis to this thing I have. First I am not insane, it’s nothing intense like that but I am not sane as well. The saying “there’s only a thin line between sanity and insanity” is a ruse, you can easily skip between the two sides and find there’s no divide. Normal, not normal, normal, not normal and on we go. It’s not actually the boxes that matter because everyone has their perception of what’s considered normal and what’s not. For example my mother finds it ludicrous that I called her recently   in a very high pitched voice declaring “my feet looks like grandmas’”, she doesn’t see the humor in that, in fact she is horrified her “almost 29years old daughter’s feet are ...