YENIQUE

Yesterday was a public holiday and a perfect opportunity to step out and feel the Lagos breeze. I had a plan though, a visit to the Museum. I once visited as a kid, my parents thought it nice to intimate us with our heritage and culture, now I want to tell them another round of thank “yous” as it turns out they took me to The National Museum Onikan Lagos and I only visited its shadow yesterday. First the Museum was looking quite dull from the outside and then we paid an entrance fee of 300naira which is fair for what I thought I was going to see. I have been working on a series of short stories about the Yoruba creation myth and about our gods so I thought I would find some sort of inspiration from seeing relics of my culture…how wrong I was. The air was humid, either the Air conditioners were not working or they weren’t turned on and the fans were just too few to help with that stuffy air. The “Ifa”/Yoruba relics were there but obviously from recen...

Your body gives you what you give it. I saw a movie yesterday about drug abuse and it's indirect impact on society. I kept saying "can't they see? Don't these people know it's dangerous?" It took me a while to realise I must be an hypocrite, I drink not excessively but I do and I cannot deny it's detrimental. I have had migraine, days of being in a haze and insomnia due to my alcohol consumption yet here I am condemning drugs. The last migraine episode I promised never to drink again (lord help me) and it took me so long to get here. Coming across this picture on @ugojesse page I understood the phrase "what's your poison?" Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and other addictive substances are dangerous, we need to understand this. Steering clear off it's path is the only way out. Thanks for the wake up call Ugo.

So I took some days off work to attend a family function and see my folks, well turns out it was a wrong time as it was election week in my home state. Trust me there ain't a wronger time to make a trip to Ekiti, the town is usually charged with strong vibes of political violence at this time and it's best to stay away. I got to the park quite early and our mini van hit the road almost immediately it didn't take long before the driver and fellow passengers started a conversation. It must have started as an innocent discussion until someone brought up the Ekiti guber polls then things got exciting. Initially I was pretending not to listen until a fellow passenger(who I later discovered was a Mopol officer) said "The Buhari administeration is quite efficient, we just can't see it yet" , I legit looked at him as if to say "oga don't angry me" (it's an online joke). I decided to join in the talks and pointed out that 2019 was virtually here and ...

Late post, I wrote this two weeks ago but something happened and I only get to post today. Last night as I was on my way to the store to get ONE supply I was constantly reminding myself “Funke you need only one thing from that store, one thing only”. It’s funny that I always do this drill before I enter any store whenever I am paying with my card and I constantly loose the fight except tonight. Now while in there I overheard another customer saying the charge on her ATM surprises her when she gets home as she is totally oblivious she has spent that much. I laughed because this is the total story of my life.   For example I get in there hoping to buy bread for breakfast then I pick shampoo (I still have some), I buy some random essential oil (I would only use it for 4 days judiciously and forget all about it till a pimple appears), I would buy noodles and eggs and soft drinks and kilishi and all other stupid things I know I don’t need but I am just being ...

Let me tell you the story of one Yoruba god. It is Obba...the goddess of marriage, domestic things and meekness. She was breathtakingly beautiful the story says, after all she was the daughter of Yemoja. Her husband the valiant king of the Oyo Empire Sango, god of thunder, war fighter, strong and a man after the heart of many a maiden, he was the beginning and end of her. A tale that shows that love existed even in the days when the gods ruled the earth and that rivalry is usually atop a woman’s heart. Sango the valiant had married Obba, Oshun and Oya but for some reason he desired Oshun more. This of course led to a rivalry and the ever meek Obba lost all ideas on how to keep her beloved husband in her bed or keep her thoughts in his head. In a drastic move she sought the advice of her very rival Oshun the apple of the King god's eye. She asked in desperation "my fellow wife, please tell me how is it the king is always with you? How do you make him love you s...

What has social media done for or against you? Personally I have sweet and sour tales from my social media addiction. I think by now everyone that knows me knows how addicted to the internet I am. Well online I have made sales, learnt about SMEs', I once got a PR job through instagram(that turned out awful), I have been able to express myself through writing. Social media for me has been more of a blessing than a curse. But then...there are the curses that make me check and double check when I am online. The first annoying thing that happened to me online was the job, tar@#$ put up an advert for an online PR manager and since I loved that I jumped at the offer. We argued about the pay for a while, then reached an agreement on work hours and pay. Babe breached agreement on both levels, I worked till 10pm sometimes, 12am once and I was living at least 2hours away from her studio. She was verbally abusive and damn she ended up not paying me a dime. All my efforts and little money i...

The poem itself is just a reflection of how I perceive life. I believe in an innate sixth sense, one that directs us , guides us. Often I remember those days that my heart seemingly pounded for no apparent reason only to have one exciting or sad thing happen later in the day. My body was aware and it had informed me. Watch, look, feel...after all we are African. ***********Superstition************** Listen patiently every morning All elements are speaking They tell you to move or stay The wind blows this way and that Speaking words only the sharp can understand The way the sea rolls tell a tale of do or don't An African mind should know how to forecast it's own "whether" Seat still and let the pounding of your heart The first feet you take The sound of running water Lead you home.