YENIQUE

  So   one night  last week while trying desperately to keep myself awake, I had a pep talk with myself   (more like a TED talk,  because  I was there acting like  there was a  live audience  in front of me  and being so Zen).   Well i n my usual Pep/TED talk fashion I was mouthing the words ever so peacefully, a skill I wish I have mastered in life , you see  I fancy a Zen outlook, an understanding personality and a calm voice but like most things I fancy  these are all still a work in progress, but you can say I am working .  In like manner my talk focused on something I am  also  working to be,  put  quite simply “A genuinely Altruistic Person”.    Altruistic (simply meaning unselfish ) ,  I am trying my best in all ways to be as unselfish as possible. So a part from trying to stay awake this started from hearing/seeing the phrase “focus on your own happiness” a lot more in the past week and something about that statement rings the wrong alarms in my head.    I truly get distressed

Our relationships with people are constantly evolving, from nothing, nothing from being oblivious I mean, not knowing.  To desire, to want, a very special type of want and sometimes to need. Extreme need, for comfort, food or warmth...just need. Then nothing, big-nothing not from oblivion of course but from feeling nothing anymore, no desire, no acknowledgement of their presence or absence, nothing. Just nothing. Nothing scares me more than "nothing" about human relationships, that friend, that person who meant so much, who made your heart skip, who you thought of first thing at morn slowly becomes nothing. Their presence or absence means nothing anymore and it's neither a cold feeling or a warm one it's just "without-".   It's become apparent that there's no remedy for this, it's the way the world works and its inevitable. I however, have decided to stop expecting this, to stop waiting for it and watching for its signs

Personally I'm enjoying this "empowered and liberated"/"I'm more than my body" power tussle women are engaging in. I mean in one breathe we mention how we're empowered, liberated, not bound by traditional norms and cultures so we're free to flaunt our bodies, keyword "our" specifically to remind the men not to advise us on modesty. Then as soon as men start to objectify women and talk about how the ass looks perfect to be tapped, we jump on the train of " I am more than a body". Sis for the life of me I don't get us. What are we on about? First of all if you're a model, Onlyfans star, porn actress (and other similar careers), body activist, artiste, actress I totally understand why your full breast/ass is outside. The others though, WHAT IN THE BEJESUS HELL IS THAT? Queens forget the whole liberation talk let's face it, we have the stage. We can be out here talking about fighting domestic violence among