Thursday, 4 April 2019
Thursday, 27 December 2018
Yesterday was a public holiday and a perfect opportunity to step out and feel the Lagos breeze. I had a plan though, a visit to the Museum. I once visited as a kid, my parents thought it nice to intimate us with our heritage and culture, now I want to tell them another round of thank “yous” as it turns out they took me to The National Museum Onikan Lagos and I only visited its shadow yesterday.
First the Museum was looking quite dull from the outside and then we paid an entrance fee of 300naira which is fair for what I thought I was going to see. I have been working on a series of short stories about the Yoruba creation myth and about our gods so I thought I would find some sort of inspiration from seeing relics of my culture…how wrong I was.
The air was humid, either the Air conditioners were not working or they weren’t turned on and the fans were just too few to help with that stuffy air. The “Ifa”/Yoruba relics were there but obviously from recent times and the stone carvings from the old times were dusty, cracked, broken off at the edges. Some descriptions were missing and others had wrong spellings or incomplete information. For example I would have loved to see or learn a little about the Igbo culture as well and there were too little things and then no sensible descriptions. The only thing I noticed there seemed to be a good number of were from the Akwa-Ibom/Cross Rivers region, they were beautiful pieces.
Now let’s not even talk about the Nigerian Government section, the curtains were dusty and then same few descriptions. I would think they would employ a storyteller to write captivating footnotes under each president’s image. I am not one to bash my country but honestly we could do better. This is a sham and they know, I guess that’s why we were instructed not to take pictures.
A museum is a representation of our culture and heritage and I am of the opinion it should at least be in good condition. For me as a kid it was a fun place to be but now some 18 years later I can neither find the thrill nor purpose of this place.
I would still continue on my search for inspiration and I hope I find it because I can’t wait to share more comical versions of Yoruba Myths for your pleasure.
XOXOXX…cheers to a happy New Year.
Thursday, 4 October 2018
Your body gives you what you give it. I saw a movie yesterday about drug abuse and it's indirect impact on society. I kept saying "can't they see? Don't these people know it's dangerous?" It took me a while to realise I must be an hypocrite, I drink not excessively but I do and I cannot deny it's detrimental.
I have had migraine, days of being in a haze and insomnia due to my alcohol consumption yet here I am condemning drugs. The last migraine episode I promised never to drink again (lord help me) and it took me so long to get here.
Coming across this picture on @ugojesse page I understood the phrase "what's your poison?" Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and other addictive substances are dangerous, we need to understand this. Steering clear off it's path is the only way out.
Thanks for the wake up call Ugo.
Saturday, 14 July 2018
So I took some days off work to attend a family function and see my folks, well turns out it was a wrong time as it was election week in my home state. Trust me there ain't a wronger time to make a trip to Ekiti, the town is usually charged with strong vibes of political violence at this time and it's best to stay away.
I got to the park quite early and our mini van hit the road almost immediately it didn't take long before the driver and fellow passengers started a conversation. It must have started as an innocent discussion until someone brought up the Ekiti guber polls then things got exciting. Initially I was pretending not to listen until a fellow passenger(who I later discovered was a Mopol officer) said "The Buhari administeration is quite efficient, we just can't see it yet" , I legit looked at him as if to say "oga don't angry me" (it's an online joke). I decided to join in the talks and pointed out that 2019 was virtually here and if we can't see anything now we'd probably never see and that excuse alongside the "the previous administeration scattered everything" is stale. Please you can't be giving us these same excuses three years down the line, also considering the new issues arising, killings that could have been curtailed, same old electricity issues despite a huge increase in unit price and above all our deaf President who neither comments on our constant complaints or acts like he hears us rant. I mean dude can fly a chopper to campaign for Fayemi in Ekiti and open a bus station in Lagos but when there was a fire that claimed lives on Otedola bridge due to an avoidable situation the chopper ain't available? This Buhari man clearly does not care or he's plain insensitive and I won't stand by and watch anyone defend him. I got an "amen" from everyone except oga mopol but he had his face bent and that was enough for my ego.
Now after a couple of inputs from other passengers our journey continued on a lighter note and we started analyzing the Ekiti situation. How there's usually tension and the insatiable Ekiti people, they unitedly chase out a sitting governor and barely four years later they are suddenly clamouring for him, we laughed over that and reached an agreement that the people must have issues. Getting into the state we discovered "oga mopol's" benefit as there were over fifteen checkpoints before the state capital and all it took was a nod from him for them to free us. That was super cool by the way.
By the time we got into town and went through our glorious bridge I absolutely went "awwwwwwwwwwwwww", Fayose deserves an accolade for this. The bridge was not done halfway as per Naija goverment style " 20years project", it was completed and nicely so. Roads were clean, more infrastructure and a welcoming look. This could inadvertently bring companies and some other few parastatal into the state. But oga noh pay salary...for nine months. I fit don dey sleep for front of hin office, nine months no pay in a state where most of them work for the government!!! Even doctors, teachers, nurses, how then are they expected to do their jobs well? I wanted to support him because he undoubtedly has upgraded my town but I can't, I have uncles, aunties and a very young and bright doctor cousin he wasn't paying. People I planned to hang on their necks to come and pop bottles for me now can't, na dulling be this ooo. Anyway it seems supporting Fayose was a not going to be possible, but my town looked dope.
I intended to stay for a week but my journey was cut unexpectedly short as there was even more tension after the alleged assault on our dear Governor. Bike men avoided areas close to the state house and movement was with constraint. I headed back, quite sad I didn't have enough fun or gist with mum more. The journey back was long as there was no "oga mopol" and we got stopped at about 10 spots just in Ekiti. The millitary presence in the state is enough to wade off a war. Within a couple of hours we were back on sane ground (ie. Lagos) and I couldn't be more pissed to get home.
Monday, 23 October 2017
Late post, I wrote this two weeks ago but something happened and I only get to post today.
Last night as I was on my way to the store to get ONE supply I was constantly reminding myself “Funke you need only one thing from that store, one thing only”. It’s funny that I always do this drill before I enter any store whenever I am paying with my card and I constantly loose the fight except tonight. Now while in there I overheard another customer saying the charge on her ATM surprises her when she gets home as she is totally oblivious she has spent that much. I laughed because this is the total story of my life.
For example I get in there hoping to buy bread for breakfast then I pick shampoo (I still have some), I buy some random essential oil (I would only use it for 4 days judiciously and forget all about it till a pimple appears), I would buy noodles and eggs and soft drinks and kilishi and all other stupid things I know I don’t need but I am just being “card Happy”.
Usually it’s easier to pay with your card at cash points but it gives access to a lot of reckless spending. The simple logic is you know you can’t run out of cash there’s always that other important money for upkeep in your account you are not supposed to spend but then you can spend it. Anyways, I would like to spell out three simple tricks to help you stop this habit. I succeeded twice yesterday and I hope every time I remember I wrote this I can curb my unnecessary spending especially since I am broke.
# Always share your funds between accounts, one with easy access to the credit card and another/others for savings and apportioning purposes. This way when you are going shopping simply forward the right amount you need into the ATM card account you are shopping with. You can start with a little excess of maybe a thousand above your budget till you are stronger at this.
# Make a list of things you need every month, at least the things you remember. Of course I know you might not stick to it judiciously but that is just one step in the right direction. Instead of walking into a groceries store just shopping blindly, your list guides you to the important things and with time you ignore the things non-existent on your list.
# Lastly, the most foolproof way to curb your spending is withdrawing cash enough to get the things you need maybe with just minimal change. Walk into that store strong and determined with only your cash (leave the tempting card at home) and watch your spending reduce drastically.
Well well, that’s all for now. Do have a great week ahead and remember to follow the tips up there.xoxoxxxxxooo
Friday, 28 July 2017
Friday, 30 June 2017
What has social media done for or against you?
Personally I have sweet and sour tales from my social media addiction. I think by now everyone that knows me knows how addicted to the internet I am.
Well online I have made sales, learnt about SMEs', I once got a PR job through instagram(that turned out awful), I have been able to express myself through writing. Social media for me has been more of a blessing than a curse.
But then...there are the curses that make me check and double check when I am online. The first annoying thing that happened to me online was the job, tar@#$ put up an advert for an online PR manager and since I loved that I jumped at the offer. We argued about the pay for a while, then reached an agreement on work hours and pay. Babe breached agreement on both levels, I worked till 10pm sometimes, 12am once and I was living at least 2hours away from her studio. She was verbally abusive and damn she ended up not paying me a dime. All my efforts and little money in the bank gone. That b@t%$ had to ask "who diz?" When I called her a few weeks after quitting for my pay. I discovered later that was her tactic, she posts job openings(tantalizing ones), makes you work your ass off and then intentionally irritates you so you can quit. She has done this to several peeps, so now I just shake my head when I come across her posts on IG.
Something else about social media is the addiction, it's like a part of me that I can't cut off. That's totally not cool. I've met a few scammer boys too but I always find out their silliness before any harm is done. Except for this one dude that was all over me, so consistent and loving. Of course I was sceptical but the whole "mushiness" got to me, when I started falling I found out this guy's acclaimed ex is his fiancee. I carry my slippers run, e noh pain me sha cause I was treading softly initially so no damage done, but I kinda felt stupid(I could have been smarter).
Now all my bad experiences online(including writing for popular online magazines and not getting paid or getting your name edited out of the file) are not as much as the sweet ones. Online poetry forums, meeting friends who want nothing except ideas sharing and fun, knowledge, spying and hope are some of the few good things I've come across.
Care to share your social media experience?
Tuesday, 6 June 2017
The poem itself is just a reflection of how I perceive life. I believe in an innate sixth sense, one that directs us , guides us.
Often I remember those days that my heart seemingly pounded for no apparent reason only to have one exciting or sad thing happen later in the day. My body was aware and it had informed me.
Watch, look, feel...after all we are African.
Listen patiently every morning
All elements are speaking
They tell you to move or stay
The wind blows this way and that
Speaking words only the sharp can understand
The way the sea rolls tell a tale of do or don't
An African mind should know how to forecast it's own "whether"
Seat still and let the pounding of your heart
The first feet you take
The sound of running water
Lead you home.