YENIQUE

"No baggage please" those would be my exact words when I step into 2015 and dearie they should be your's too.Carry no extra baggage into the new year and by this I mean, no unwilling /cheating  boyfriend or girlfriend. No energy sapping fruitless relationships and even friendships. Take your self, happy and content into the new year and wait for the next new wholesome thing to happen .A lot of us stay in relationships that are not beneficial basically because we fear being alone. We pray things get better even when we know it's doomed.Let me hint, staying in an unhappy relationship is far worse than leaving it ,you would never know what is out there.Like Taylor Swift let's all shake it off,there's nothing wrong with being single for a while it's a healing process. However for all of you with someone sweet on your arms don't let the sudden influx of "hot hot chics/ six-packs-briticco accent guys get to you,stay focused .Just like the times they

      After getting like a thousand messages from MTN that it was World's AIDS day sometimes last week...for a whole week. I decided to do something about it. Well first I asked them "unpolitely" to stop sending me silly ad texts,then I reflected. I"m a sexually active female who up until a few days ago didn't know her status and that's just bad.So I implore my readers to please go for HIV testing today, and yes we all should work towards an HIV free generation. No casual sex, apart from HIV there are a couple other sexually transmitted diseases that are just equally nasty.We shouldn't ever have unprotected sex with someone whose status is unknown and please like I always say STICK to ONE partner,no waka waka.    I'm your's truly Yenique and with this short piece of advice I welcome you to the merry month of December. XOXOXO

       The other day I wrote about how to deal with a break up today's article deals with the art of breaking up without sounding or acting insensitive. Like I said the other time leaving a relationship is just as hard as entering into one. You might think it's really easy if you are the one calling it quits but when really faced with such situation (and if you are a sensitive person).Well there are steps to take and things to do that make breaking up much easier.    #First do not ever break up with someone over the phone, calls, texts, emails, pings are a no no . That's the first step to being extremely insensitive.   #Don't also do that in a private setting, you might get too emotional and let your guards down.   #You don't need to do the "it's not you it's me thing", it's absolutely unnecessary but then don't be so direct and spiteful when giving him/her the reasons why you want out.Be mild but also let him/her know your decisions are

   It's another interesting Monday and I have another list of great relationship tips for the ladies. Here's a list of things we shouldn't be caught dead doing in our relationships. ..if however you have found yourself doing some or even all of it, please stop. This is yenique's top seven don't do list.      # Don't loose your personality for a man. Ladies keep being who you were before the relationship started don't alter your life, friends and all that you were because you have a new man.You had a life before you met him please keep living it.       # Don't go into a relationship with the intention of changing a man.Of course there ain't ready men out there but his likable attributes should be more than the unlikeable ones .You might end up trying to change him till even after marriage.        # Don't settle for less than you want. You have a standard don't break it down because of your desperation.       # Don't start acting wifey

   Many times I hear women say "oh I gave it to him too soon" for them that sends a bad message "I'm too cheap","I can't control myself", "I'm a sex freak" blah blah blah. Is all that necessarily true? I generally believe that if a guy wants something serious with you and you stick to the 90 days rule, it's fine, if you give him the cookie straight up, it's fine. I mean his initial response shouldn't be "she slept with me ah ahah I'm so done".He should know there's more cookie where that came from and usually the crunchier ones are below the jar.      Any half decent man should know there's more to a relationship than sex, he should want to tap into these other resources. Pay attention to these           *If a guy wants just sex from you, if you like hold back for a thousand days once he gets it, he's out.           *That theory of "chop and go" is for immature nit-witted guys and ser

    Hi everyone it's a beautiful Monday and I hope you are having a swell time. I noticed that dating, relationships and even our general attitude towards sex have been gender plagued for generations. Starting from who asks who out, to who should take who on a date, to who instigates sex and so on, our roles have been set.It's not just a naija thing but we naija babes are extra shy when it comes to things like that.       So many chics have found themselves in situations where they have a huge crush and they say or do nothing about it. They don't want to come across as cheap or easy. Keeping your feelings to yourself isn't a pleasant thing, especially when the other party seems not to notice anything. However I am not saying we ladies should come out of our protective shells just yet but there are ways to flirt with a guy that wouldn't be too obvious yet a lot suggestive.Here are a few tips      #talk to him, talk about anything. Stuffs you guys have in common or

  Hi everyone it's another yenique Monday and I am doing this on the road. I hope the rest of you are enjoying the holiday.Today it's for the ladies,I came across an article online that talked about the types of men we shouldn't date and I agree with the writer. Let me *remix* her list for you.   #mr angry      This type of men can be extra caring, hot looking boyfriend. This type of men can be very volatile too. You will never know what made his mood change and why on the earth he is behaving like this. Do not date a volatile man...it would only come back to hunt you.     # 'Aww-I'm-just-a-kid' man You should date a man. This type of guys are not fully grown up. They are happy in extending their childhood and teenage. You will be surprised to see how much he will be dependent on you.Yea I have met quite a few and they can be annoying.         #I need you so much guy This type of guys are just too emotional. Yes, they are even more emotional th

     Hi everyone it's another yenique day and I'm having a swell time, I hope you are too.Well today it's for the guys again and I am talking about their variant tastes in women. I've always wondered if size, shape, curves actually have a part to play during sex.I'm not saying that we don't have a right to want a particular type of girl I'm just talking in regards to sex. Some like it soft and cushy while some just want a flexible chic that can go 360° on you, is it really about that?    Well variety is the spice of life but I can gladly tell you that curves or not any lady can be earth shatteringly hot in bed. Foreplay actually is more sensuous to the lady so the excuse of wanting things to 'press' isn't genuine. For those who want the 360° any girl no matter her size can ride you like a horse *winks *.         So I am still wondering and I need all the guys who read this to please get back to me and tell me why they love their lepa/curvy/orob

   Good day everyone it's a beautiful and almost perfect day and I hope you are all having fun.Today I want to talk about the imperfect woman.As we all know no one is perfect, we all have one flaw or another. Most men however expect certain things of their partners, lack of it could cause strains in the relationship.Seeing some otherwise detestable character in your girlfriend could be quite disappointing ,although I do believe that love can erase most if not all flaws a lady could have.     Acceptance is key in every relationship, between friends and colleagues and also lovers.You need to understand you both have differing backgrounds and totally different lives until you came together, so she might not be your type of "perfect".To deal with things you normally can't tolerate though you might find this tips quite useful.     #Talk to her about it, just tell her the things you would really want her to change. If it's something she might find offensive, bring it

  Having been away for a while I solemnly renew my vows to you dear fans of yenique9ja and I promise that come hell or high waters I would never be away for that long again.Enjoy my first post after my exam break. Recently it has become popular amongst girls and guys too to date more than one person at the same time,trying to give them equal love, affection and attention. General reason "I want to be on the safe side".A few of my friends even quote proverbs "don't put all your eggs in one basket" yea right blah blah blah.    Giving two people equal levels of love and attention can be difficult and ultimately dangerous. By now you should know I don't support any form of cheating and I do not think it's cool to share your body and feelings between two or more people. Also a lot of things could go wrong.    # for one you could get your heart tangled up.Feelings can be very unstable and sometimes when you find yourself trying to feel the same way about tw

   When your partner makes a mistake or does something out of context what's your reaction? We all have various ways of dealing with issues but today we'ld talk about the ladies way out. ..NAGGING. Yea ladies we know we have to say something when our partners do anything wrong but do we have to repeat it over and over again and usually in an annoying high pitched voice?    We go "I told you so hmmmm didn't I? You wouldn't listen, now see everything shey I told you...blah blah blah" babe you're sounding like a broken record. I'm with the guys on this one Nagging is a grievous sin.The problems with nagging are numerous it's the worst approach to dealing with issues, let me quote BJ Gallagher a very notable relationship expert "nagging women are verbally castrating their husbands, emasculating them and turning them into resentful or resigned wusses...".I wouldn't want to turn my boyfriend into a wuss, would you? Nagging gradually turns

   Leaving a relationship is just as hard as entering one, especially when it's the other party that wants out. When we find ourselves in such situations we are at a complete loss, not too worry though let's go through the stages together and learn how to deal with it.     First it's okay to brood, you can think about it. Think of what went wrong and what you did to contribute to the break up. The problem starts only when you start putting more blame on yourself than your partner. Secondly you are free to be emotionally down. ..it doesn't mean you are weak.    For a while you might miss your partner and just wish to patch things up, this feelings are normal but never go through with it.Let the hurt in but don't try to get back with your ex, you'ld only find yourself back where you started. Whenever you feel like running back into his/her arms surround yourself with friends and/or other activities.    Yea we know you can be friends with your ex but don't t

  There's always a dark corner in every room, no matter how lit up it looks. So it's completely ok if you have some things you've done in the past that you ain't proud of.The issue here is do you need to tell your partner? Is it necessary to?    In life we have all made one mistake or two, some people have made huge mistakes while others have just teenie tiny secrets. Although trust and faithfulness is built on honesty keeping secrets can sometimes be a blessing.You just have to study your partner well before deciding which step to take.    Some people *like me* don't really want to know all the details, especially when it has something to do with a member of the opposite sex.If you go "confessing" all your sexcapades to such people you might end up loosing them.It doesn't mean that the person resents you, some people just don't know how to deal with such situations.    On the other hand some partners want to know every detail, juicy or sour.Wel

   It's probably stale news now that most guys sugar coat their intentions when asking a girl out, and also most ladies fall for the sugar coated promises. Although I am all out for saying the truth when relationships are concerned. ..you want sex and companionship, just say it. Well since you won't and we don't have anyway of knowing what's really on your mind...Let's turn the table around for you.    My first advice is to stop looking and acting desperate, ladies let me inform you,guys can see through your actions and play on your desperation. I know we all want a solid relationship that might lead into something more but he doesn't need to know all that on the first date. Stop asking him about marriage and the like as soon as he asks you out.Things like that actually take time and mostly happens spontaneously, it's not like he'ld see you and immediately know you are his future wife.    Take things slow, as always that's the way to go. I'm no

  Online dating can be fun, I have a name for it *harmless flirting* and just like some of us I have found myself doing it once in a while. Our feelings can be tricky and sometimes for reasons we can't fathom we end up liking the person at the other end of the line. When this happens should we rule out the possibilities of something serious cause it started on the Internet? Can we throw caution to the wind and try it out?     Online hook ups have as many success stories as it has horrific tales.So we can't completely rule it out as bad or good. Today I am not talking about the downsides of dating someone you met online, I want to give us a little guide to a successful online hook up. *As we can never be too careful, if you do decide to meet, make it a very public place. Meeting halfway is usually best, it's selfish for one party to travel just to hook up with someone they met online. *Nigerian babes this is for you. Don't go and meet someone for the first time and

Top of the morning to you my dear readers...if you are reading this at a later time good day to you.Our dear naija boys are the topic of discussion again today. I want to look at cheating from a man's perspective and not just any man but our very own home boys.    Babes be like "I give him everything, why does he still cheat?".Why does he cheat despite the fact that he shows me so much affection? Questions questions,now let's look at the answers.   Men generally have the ability to detach their emotions from sex, they can sleep with someone who they don't even like. Understanding this is the first step to understanding why they cheat.So sometimes when your man cheats it's not because he's fallen out of love with you.    They say "it's cheating only when you are caught" that statement is one top reason why Nigerian guys cheat.They feel they will get away with it. According to them, no harm's done. Most times they know even if they are

Hi ladies, how's the *smoochy weather treating us?Cold hmmmn.... I have come for you again with another slightly *controversial* issue. Today I ask how far should you go to please your man? How far is too far? What if his desires are more than you can offer? Don't get it confused, I am not talking about washing his clothes or polishing his shoes...I mean how far can you go in the bedroom?    As the popular saying goes "one man's meat is another man's poison" this actually comes to play in some relationships. One partner's idea of mind blowing sex is a complete bore to the other person. Conflicting sexual appetites can be mind boggling at times, is there a way around it? Some guys due to their many sexcapades* of the past have a large sexual appetite, giving the impression that they are perverts.I know a lot of dudes who don't see anything wrong in *anal* sex but to most ladies that is far fetched. Do not judge your man hastily. Talking to him about

Hi ladies, how's the *smoochy weather treating us?Cold hmmmn.... I have come for you again with another slightly *controversial* issue. Today I ask how far should you go to please your man? How far is too far? What if his desires are more than you can offer? Don't get it confused, I am not talking about washing his clothes or polishing his shoes...I mean how far can you go in the bedroom?    As the popular saying goes "one man's meat is another man's poison" this actually comes to play in some relationships. One partner's idea of mind blowing sex is a complete bore to the other person. Conflicting sexual appetites can be mind boggling at times, is there a way around it? Some guys due to their many sexcapades* of the past have a large sexual appetite, giving the impression that they are perverts.I know a lot of dudes who don't see anything wrong in *anal* sex but to most ladies that is far fetched. Do not judge your man hastily. Talking to him about

     Having slight trust issues in your relationship doesn't necessarily spell doom . Trust is a feeling and just like joy, sadness and other feelings it might waver.However trust is the basis of any good relationship, with business associates or family, it is quite beneficial if our partners have complete trust in us as we should have in them too.    When someone makes a mistake once sometimes it shatters our trust in them and eventually our relationship. In some cases though our partners have not even done anything worth distrusting them for, we just feel that way . If this happens, what may be the reason, the solution?    First I believe there's no smoke without even a little fire somewhere, you have to find out the root of the problem.Try to remember when you started feeling this way and what triggered such emotions . When you find the source, try to be rational.Ask yourself, are your feelings baseless? Is your partner doing something that is sending off the wrong vibes?

  It's Yenique again and today I am here to help lovers navigate the unsure waters of a new relationship. Starting a relationship can be a little awkward, questions arise "how do I get to know what he/she likes? ","what if we are just not compatible?"...and so on . Well really those questions on your mind should be answered and I suggest that in a light mood you two should get together,sit down and ask each other whatever you need to know. Please try to be truthful in your replies.    I came across alot of questionnaires whilst surfing the net for perfect compatibility questions. I found some really interesting stuff that I thought about sharing with you but I finally decided to share my own questions. Short and on point these ten questions would give you an insight into your partner's thoughts and could help you in dealing with them.    Remember being truthful about your answers is the key. ..here they are *Do you prefer good looks over cleverness? *How

Having second thoughts about your so-called relationship? Does your partner act like for him it's just about the sex? Are the romantic feelings one-sided? I'ld tell you what. ..there are too many fishes in the river to waste your time catching an inedible one. If you think he's using you..."run" out of the relationship. Do not judge hastily though, let's put him to the test.    Just answer these questions as truthfully as you can to yourself *Does he claim he's busy all week and then when he calls it's for you guys to hook up?    Let me say this, no one is too busy to call a loved one. I have a friend who is so busy at work,but takes rest room breaks to call his girlfriend. Don't compromise on this, if he ignores you for a whole week and only calls when he can get some "booty",shake him off. *Does he excuse himself immediately after sex?     He claims he has something to do, or somewhere to go. You just notice that he just has to le

Ladies check out the shape of your head and see your celebrity shape look-alike. Hair style experts advice that you know the shape of your head before you choose an hairstyle so let me share what I learnt with you. *first you have to know your head shape...snap your face up close and try not to smile or smirk while doing that. *try to compare your shape to general face shapes, use this picture. * for a square face, wiki how suggests you play with the angles *for a round face however create angles to frame your face. *balance an oval face with layers *accent the heart shaped face with the right length. ..not too long or short.     Given all this they advice that still do not stay in your comfort zone with your hair, explore sometimes . Always remember that the best hairstyles are the ones that do not require you to fluff it out, comb it through or hold it down all the time before it looks great. #Yenique Photo credit  ...hair fashion-online. Blogspot

Steve Harvey can be blamed for bringing the 90 days rule back guys. ..yea almost all chics who read that book started giving the rule a second thought. We ladies have always thought of ways to ascertain our man's true feelings for us but do you think making him wait three months before you give him sex is the way?? Let's explore this chains of thought.    Actually sometimes it separates the wheat from the shaft, some guys are just with you for the sex anyway and if they can't get what they want "sharpaly" they disappear. Some girls however make these rules for the wrong reasons, some think it makes them a good girl in sight of the guy but that's not always true.    Some guys however do not mind how fast you jump into bed with them, they care about all other things. ..how good you are around the house, your cooking, your intelligence and the rest.So if you give them 90 days or not your attitude is your key.    On the other hand relationships cannot be predic

Long term relationships shouldn't be a bore, that feeling of freshness should still be there. You are probably sneering and saying "that's easy to say" well it's easy to do too. Keeping long term relationships can be seen as hard work expecially when both parties just fall into a routine and there's no fun anymore. I bring hopeful news going into a new relationship isn't the best way out because whether you like it or not it would grow old too.The easiest way out is to spice things up, ask me how here are a few tips. .. *Do not give up your interests or hobbies or even work for your partner, if you have already try to restore . Having two distinctly independent lives helps alot, there's always something new to talk about, and information or experience to share. That alone keeps you together. *No matter how long you two have been together never stop leading your listening ears.If you make your partner uncomfortable talking to you you are just pushing

Insatisfaction on one level over-satisfaction on another, there are numerous reasons why women cheat. We all know women are complex creations but saying they don't know what they want ain't true.   Sometimes it's a question of what she wants and if she's getting it from you... #Her dream:do you fit into her picture of a perfect partner? Not all women want the cool guys in the fancy suits, each woman as well as men have a stereotype they fall for. Some pretty decent women want the crazy looking dudes.If you are that attentive try to find out the sort of man that makes her tickle if you are far from it she'ld probably leave you if she meets him. #woo her:funny how these days men please their women with just gifts, money, brazillian hair, Givenchy bags and trips abroad. Ok don't get me wrong we love the gifts but do not forget the necessary things a relationship needs. ..sge needs to be reminded that you love her.Tell her how much you love her don't let th

Hi friends well I am here again and today I am talking about side chics...wait before the guys turn around I am pleased to tell you there are side dudes too. The point here is how do we know we are the side "anything" cos believe me finding out too late hurts even more. To begin with when I say side chic/dude I mean the extra partner, you know (the irrelevant one that only acts as a subordinate to the chairperson).But then again let me make this clear,no matter how bad you think you are you deserve your own man/woman.You are better than being a sub.      For the chics *I am sure he must have mentioned his main chic's name or referred to her at least once during your discussions, jokingly or as part of a serious convo.He might be so good at keeping secrets but her name would pop out. *see he would probably lie that she's an ex or something but watch out he never says any negative thing or mostly just doesn't want to go deep into her talk with you. *she calls

Masturbation is defined as the sexual stimulation of one's or someone else's genitals for sexual satisfaction, in this case I'ld like to talk about one's. For either genderMasturbation has been known to release tension, infact a while back whilst researching RLS (restless leg syndrome) it was suggested as a possible way of easing the discomfort the condition brings.Releasing sexual tension, letting off steam from work, reacting to exposure to porn whatever or however it gets to you is it really ok to? Am not totally against the act sometimes it is beneficial. I discovered that the overtime effects of Masturbation are not so pleasant though For example when you masturbate there's a high tendency of you painting a picture of your sexual partner in your head and usually that partner is extremely perfect. The only problem with this image is you hardly meet such people in reality and this makes you go back to your image every now and then before you know it you become

This poem is inspired by J.P Clark's poem THE CASUALTIES.Though we do not speak of the same casualties. The casualties are not the many headless bodies at Nyanya They are well out of it Though going to your grave in bits and pieces is a casualty on its own The casualties are not the kidnapped chibok girls They are a part of it Waking up to "inhuman faces", possible murder and/or vitiation is not just a casualties It is a calamity The casualties are not the hapless Jos students who lost their heads in a battle they weren't involved in They were mere signalling smoke used to warn of the casualties ahead The casualties are the shocked mothers, wives, daughters of the gentlemen whose last view in life was their country loosing a match They are the grieving leftover family recognizing their deads through body parts They are the many schoolgirls in chibok's surrounding villages that would never set their feet in school again They are the